How did the service and course learning experiences change/refine your initial thoughts about teaching and learning?
After having experienced everything first hand, I now see how important it is to be prepared for everything when you're teaching. What can you do to ensure students remain engaged, how can they seek answers on their own, and generally how to keep their creativity flowing. It becomes a balancing act of teaching within the balancing act of our daily routines and lives. It will be important going forward to keep a healthy balance between everything so that one thing doesn't throw the others out of balance. How did you show your connection among your past, current, and future, learning/teaching in your final artwork? My final work represents the growth and transition from my younger years to where I am now. The three versions below all represent the same thing, but the last one is the most accurate to the one I wanted to have in it. The colors are used to represent the progression from a calm youth, to where I got left behind in middle school, and progressed through high school reaching to where I am in college. Each expression ties into how my mood was back during those years: a cheery kid, a reclusive pre-teen looking back on how it was before, slowly getting used to things and moving on in high school, and where I am finally looking toward the future with a smile. I What was the most fun part and what was the hardest part of creating your autoethnographic artwork? The most fun part of this process was getting to go back through all of the hallmarks of my education and seeing how they aligned. It allowed me to see just how the stories reflected my mood, behavior, and general response to the way things were going in school. The hardest part was deciding what to include in the final work and how things should be represented. In the end, I decided that while the other aspects would add interest, there is just too much to include that it wouldn't work out the way I intended. What materials did you use to create the artwork and why did you choose them? Did you make any changes during the working process? What did you change and why? Initially, the idea was to incorporate different mediums from what would be considered moments they'd be used in: crayons for elementary, colored pencils for middle school, COPIC markers for high school, and possibly watercolor for college. After thinking and looking at past works that followed these styles, I decided not to because it would become overly cluttered and take away from the message. While it would provide visual interest with the textures and lines, the colors would likely not match or be too vibrant. That's why I chose to go fully digital. It reflects that this is where I am and where I am going. As an electronic artist, it is important to understand how other mediums work and appear because we may have to replicate those aesthetics in a program, which is why I stuck with the watercolor style background. I felt that out of the options that would work the best as it is a solid look that comes from fluidity. Just like how education creates a solid impact but looking back on everything turns it all to fluid when they merge and flow together. What incidents or events changed or influenced your thoughts to create the final product? One of the initial ideas was to include a symbol or something to represent the stories that were shaped in my education. They played a major part in how I was going through the school system. In the end, what I really wanted to focus on was how I changed in those years through body language and expressions in the artwork. The stories are things that I want people to discover and not be told about. Being told a story is all well and good but you don't get the experience firsthand like you would reading through a book or comic series. Why did you compose/create your artwork in this way? I designed my composition to show a growth from my years as a youth to my years in college in a fashion similar to the evolutionary chart. Instead of starting with the youngest on the left and having it transition to the right gradually aging, I chose to have the oldest on the left because that's where I am. Everything past that is the history that led to this point and is something to be read into further. How do these other figures represent the first figure? What role do they play? After reflecting through art making and looking at your final work, what understanding or feeling can possibly help you apply your current art teaching and learning perspectives to your future teaching and learning? I realize I must be open to accepting old and new. They shape who I am now, who I was, and who I will be. Just as I have grown, my students will too. In order to ensure that they have a bright future, whether it be in art or in general, it will be important to remember how I was forgotten and make sure no student goes unnoticed. Even if it's a simple hello or wave, it shows that they aren't invisible amongst the crowd. What is your title for this artwork? Colored Past; Open Canvas: I have my history of color stained work and a white surface in front of me.
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"Forward and forward we walk--the end is beyond the horizon--yet we always continue never yielding."
I feel like that is the best representation of everything that has accumulated from my past art journal entries. No matter where I started on my journey, I've kept moving forward through my personal education, my expanded education, and the pursuit to educate others. To sum it all up in a hashtag, it would be #Progress. One of the biggest things I've come to realize is that while art can be a result of something people want, it represents a personal view first and foremost. I should focus on having confidence in my own work, even if it doesn't look the best, and pass that belief on to students so that it's something more than a grade in class. One thing that I am thinking about is less of how the past twelve (thirteen) entries will be present in the final artwork, but more how the final will embody the thoughts and processes throughout my education. While each image holds a meaning to a specific thought or group of thoughts, including them as a large collage or something would only encompass what I discussed. I want my work to incorporate the four stages of my education and how things changed from one to the next and what would have been the representation for those years. While there has been no development yet for color or materials, I want to make sure I have a proper composition for the way I want my layout to be when it comes time to move forward. That being said, I was playing around with the idea of having my previous "selves" trailing behind the present me as if they were echoes. Then in the background incorporating different ideas I've had throughout the years (story ideas, character personas, words, etc.) and then fading into a watercolor splash that transitions into a white surface representing the change to come. The second one below is more of a static segmented version where there are defining ideas in each stage of my education that were the most prominent. In doing so, this idea would have more of a blocky set-up than the one without borders. As for the ideas of materials, the first one would likely incorporate the linework being done solely as a digital medium before transferring it over to a heavy type of paper. From there I'd focus on combining watercolor, colored pencil, and possibly alcohol markers to bring it to life with color. The paper would likely be a BFK Rives, which I used for printmaking a couple years back. It's heavy and archive ready feeling almost like a parchment. For a background color, it would be interesting to stain it with tea to give it an aged look, but that is more for an aesthetic feel than importance to the meaning. The piece below would follow a similar fashion of materials but each stage would be represented with a different medium. Paper would remain the same and lines would be created digitally, but the elementary stage would be done with pastel or crayons, middle school would be done with colored pencils, high school with alcohol markers, and then the college level would be watercolor. Each one representing an interest through the education process and close to what would have been the main focus on art projects for me back then. After reflecting, reviewing, rediscovering, and reinventing my ideas, past experiences, and teaching moments, I have a better grasp of what I'd like to accomplish moving forward as an educator.
Compared to when I thought about these things at the beginning of the semester, my new ideals in my teaching philosophy have become more refined including aspects from the creative process in art to those I want my students to leave with. One such example is "Openness" compared to "Devil-May-Care". At first, I wanted students to think about keeping options open and accepting changes as they come, but now I see it as more of a "don't stress the little things" attitude where it looks at how things can never go the way we want exactly. Part of this is teaching them that while they should accept changes, they shouldn't stress about whether something is perfect or exactly like they imagined. Let things happen and don't put much thought into what they could have been. Another aspect is from "Make it Yours; Own it" to "Confidence". It isn't so much of own what you make but having confidence in your work even if some people say otherwise. The first one was looking at how they should make their art work their own, but the revision is looking at how they should take pride in all the work they do. While they will have certain pieces that look amazing and are well composed, there will be several instances of sketches, planning, and other things leading up to those that may have more depth than the final piece could ever show. After spending time in a kindergarten classroom, and thinking back to other instances of teaching, I realize just how important it is for students to know the importance art plays in their lives and that it's not just for a grade or an "easy 'A'". They should know that even if it doesn't look good that it is a reflection of their interests, ideas, and stories. Whether or not the work says that right away is not a focal point but it could be seen by others that look at their work. Even thinking back to the art classes I was in, growing up, the projects were always focused on completion rather than how you could make it yours. When projects all looked the same, it was hard to take confidence in what really didn't feel like something you made on your own. It wasn't until high school AP Studio Art that I found my art could take a personal relation. At that point, however, it had already suffered from needing to follow a regiment of what teachers expected everything to look like. It was because of those prior views that my creativity took a hit and barely advanced the way it should have. I thought college would allow for it to grow more, but it turned into more instances of "follow this and do it exactly as I show you" instead of using your own ideas. Now that I'm a senior, and I've made it this far) I finally feel like I'm able to create art that shows a personal touch instead of following a regiment of expectations. There are still expectations in content but not in how it should look--I am the designer and originator. While digital art is often overlooked or looked down upon because of its immediate relation to videogames, I see it as a venue that could encompass everything. Sure, nothing beats the way a pencil looks on paper but digital art and electronic art can emulate the look of pencil on paper; it can emulate oil paints, watercolor, pastels, rock, earth, and almost every material known. It is such a powerful tool with a difficult learning curve , which is why it gets a bad reputation. While I have spent several years, now, exploring materials through several studios, I find myself thinking about how I could combine those with my digital art. I want to give students the freedom to enjoy art while developing their skills and I believe that digital art can be used to show how multi-modal it can be as a resource. Whether it be through creating digital lines or emulating certain materials while using actual materials next to them is still to be determined. The important part will be how art carries over in being free and without a strict regiment. That is how my views have changed and revised. There were still be instances of change and development, but now they are even more solid than before. With the constant thinking back to previous art experiences, I've found that my passion has either grown little, shrunk, or remained the same for the past couple years. I am unsure which it is because I do not remember the last time I was truly passionate about what I was making. In the constant continuation of education, I have found little time to create something I want to make that isn't a required assignment and it really wears me down because it's just another assignment even if I have a choice in what it is.
When I entered into the program, I expected that I would get to make a lot of art and get practice for getting better. What I got was a bunch of basics and crash courses in how to use different materials instead of building upon what I already had. As I reached upper division studios, there were some that allowed some building to occur but others that involved learning newer things that were a bit more advanced in understanding. Compared to previous classes outside of college, they all felt eerily similar in "Everyone is going to be doing figure paintings" or "We're going to draw bows". They only difference for college was that they gave us some self-management in figuring out how we approach our drawings. They were still of the same subject matter and just another thing that was checked off in a list. The only classes I've had that differed were some of my Electronic Art studios and in my Pottery course. While we had to tackle similar projects, we were given a rough idea and able to mold it to what we interpreted it as instead of being expected to create something with the same subject matter. I am unsure of where I will be headed, but I worry that if I follow in the same paths as them that my student's passion may dwindle or wane from where it was before. Just as I have been unable to tell where my passion has gone, I do not want them to feel the same way in their artistic lifestyle or wherever they go in life. There are moments where I get to enjoy the view from a relaxing position and not because of not doing work but because the work has been done. There are always reminders of things that come back to bring me down to rest again, but it is always nice when things finally reach a moment of pause. One of these things is how getting comfortable with teaching in a classroom allows for breathing room and just a moment to relax a little.
Thinking back to how my teachers ran their classrooms, it appeared like they were just sitting at their desks doing nothing when they could have been teaching, but they had done all they needed to for that day. If they were at their desk, then it looked like they had a break but they were actually able to breathe and work on other important matters with grading, working on a paper, or compiling information for an upcoming inspection. In some cases, it was something from their personal life they were taking care of but it was still a moment away from needing to teach. I remember thinking that the teachers back then were just loafing about and not doing their job, but now that I'm in their shoes I envy those moments they have. In trying to keep track of time, take photos, and talk with all of the children is something that requires tremendous patience and time management. It may have seemed like they were not doing their job, but when the teacher is at their desk it means that they have done all they needed for that brief moment. Then when it's time to come back down, they do what they have to in order to make sure their students understand and learn. Continuing forward, I notice more and more how I am changing and adapting to the way I teach. There are both good and bad changes; however, and the I fall back on the ways I've been taught before when I was still in middle and high school. Thinking back to those moments the teachers were always coarse in their approach to teaching; while it wasn't terrible, it didn't leave them with a good rating in the long run.
Most of what I've noticed I fall back to is giving basic feedback and only touching the surface of sparking conversation. It's almost as if my brain switches into self-preservation in order so that I try to not sit with one student more than another. I do end up doing that and it's mostly just them taking my attention away from the others and that is not a good thing to have happening. While some cases may be important to spend a little more time, it results in me getting frustrated having to hold their attention and not getting anywhere even if they asked for my help. It's more of a railroad getting on and off again at different stops but never really enjoying what's there as it always feels like going and going and going. It's about finding that place where I can finally pause to breath and enjoy where I'm at instead of needing to jump back on at the drop of a hat. After thinking about so many different things that have come and gone in life, learning is an ever present challenge that is a continuous climb and march. One of the biggest things I've noticed is how the amount of readings haven't changed from high school to college and how they haven't really had a major impact on my education.
I say this because I don't always have the time or motivation to sit down and read twenty pages for a day that may or may not be referenced during class. So many of them are there for our benefit but never discussed in class, so it just feels like I can either read them and possibly learn more or spend more time on other assignments that are worth more in the long run. Just as it is in college, it was the same in high school but they at least focused on a little aspect of the reading in class when it was due. Despite that, the readings did not majorly effect my grades and I still made it into college. Looking at how far I've come from high school, I realize I could be a lot further along mentally had I read or continued to read, but in terms of learning from the readings it does little for long-term growth. After being able to watch and experience things first-hand, I notice that my growth immediately jumps with my understanding because I was able to do the thing instead of read about doing the thing. Reading is a lot different than doing and I find myself benefiting more from what I need to do than what I need to read about. While it would still be important to try and stay on top of readings assigned, I find my educational experiences growing better from doing than worrying about any readings. Just like the test with Schrodinger's Cat, I feel like I am both dead and alive. Days flow into one another and I am losing track of them as things pile up and move on. Yet, I'm still able to keep track of a day to day schedule as I go about my day.
Similarly to the way that days meld together and become seamless, memories of teaching as become blurred and meld into one. In some ways that is good but others is bad because I lose track of what I have done in recent cases and in other instances it allows me to recall certain impactful moments. It leads to a sense of deja vu limbo where I am neither moving forward or backward and where I'm stuck in a moment trying to remember where I am placed. Education can act in the same way where we recall seemingly useless facts from years ago but can't remember the name of an artist we heard yesterday. It's not very organized and gets blended together in what is deemed "worth knowing". So while it is going to be difficult to keep track of everything, it is good to have the other instances of education front and center where I'll be able to work with them directly rather than indirectly. All I have to do is keep track of how they all worked out and how I progress from here. Looking back on the handful of times that I've taught, I feel like I have a good basis to compare them to how things are going today along with how art is essential for societal development.
Just as we are learning more about the hands-on field training of the classrooms at Polaris, it is becoming painfully obvious on just how difficult it is to teach art let alone teaching on its own. Compared to my time in Conrad Ball and with the education class on campus, the kindergarten class is by far the most difficult to wrap my head around. Here we are doing our best to teach art to these young students when in reality we need to build the entire foundation for which they'll use to understand and create art. The middle schoolers and other students already had this foundation, so we didn't need to worry about their foundation because they had it. We're at the core of making sure these students have a grasp on what is art and the etiquette that follows. That can tie in with how art is essential for societal development. Aside from creative writing or composing music, art is another way people develop a mental fluidity. I say this because math may enhance a mental perspective just as art can, but it has guidelines, algorithms, and rules to follow in order to for things to work out properly. It is closed to expansion unless someone has chosen to pursue a route of mathematic exploration. Art is the same with guidelines, algorithms, and rules, but it is ultimately open for change in any of those positions. Drawing in perspective asks that we follow guidelines but then painting asks that we don't follow any guidelines at all; both are aspects of art but can be changed or even combined. Music notes can be arranged in any order and still produce music. Creative writing can be reworded or just become a new creation in its entirety. When something allows us to move freely, we are able to develop new ways of thinking that don't rely on rigidity or algorithms to generate new ideas or to explore. All we have to do is start and we're there. Then once we move onto the next year or the next chapter, the previous ideas can be archived, cataloged, or set on the side while we fill the next chapter. They're all there but usually only one is ever in focus. It's almost month 2 of school and so far it is utter chaos. A balancing act of electronic art, pottery, education classes, and personal life outside of school. With that in mind, I am doing my best to ensure that I get things done and provide the best education I can for my Polaris class. I've been dancing to this song for three years now, so I've picked up skills that allow me to mitigate my time around and find the best way of handling overfilled plates. The condition is that some areas may falter, and I've accepted that because it's simply not healthy for me to push myself where pushing is not within my best interest.
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Joel SchreinerBorn on December 17th, 1996, Joel Schreiner entered the Electronic Art program at CSU right out of High School. From there he decided to set his eyes on becoming an educator alongside an illustrator and concept artist. Archives
December 2018
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