Transitioning from being a student to a student teacher hasn't been that apparent. When I look back, however, I get hit with waves of nostalgia growing up as a student. I recognize moments where the instructions and expectations I determine were once instructions and expectations that my teachers gave me. These moments allow me to re-center myself on what I am experiencing and expecting of my students. In some cases, they are the same expectations that made it hard to get things done to which I can then back peddle a little and revise things. Other times, it's just simply an echo from a time before.
In terms of switching between teaching and learning, I feel that it is more instantaneous, back and forth throughout the day. One thing that I have noticed is that my brain jumps back and forth with each exchange be it small or large. It probably isn't good for the health to be constantly going back and forth as the stress isn't going to help too much, but it is just how things are being processed. Maybe it's because I feel that I will forget what I was thinking about during the day and won't be able to learn from it later. As for presence, I do feel that it has been somewhat lacking. I'm definitely on the quieter side in a group of people I don't know very well. In a high school setting, many of them are close to my age with a minimum of 4 years, so that made it a little difficult to project a teacher persona. In an elementary setting, however, I feel that I will have an easier time due to being older and taller. It won't be as difficult to establish a place of teacherness there. However, I do try to make sure I wear a button up shirt or polo for class, so that I do stand apart. Along with keeping an ID badge for Rocky helps, but usually the presence comes from how comfortable I feel with the class and the way I dress.
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December 2019
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